Lesson for life: Never fall in love with someone you ultimately can't have.
Sounds simple enough right?
If only you could pick how you feel and who you feel about. The number of times I have now sat next to my ex and best friend and just LONGED to feel something more than I do. It would be so simple. He loves me, I'd love him. Happily ever after, into the sunset, bla bla bla.
Have you ever felt like you've walked away from the one person who will ever really love you?
It's tough but I guess you know ultimately if you've made the right decision. You can't go on pretending to love someone just because they hold you high. Everyone likes to feel beautiful. But there comes a point where you realise, and you reflect, and it's nothing, it's meaningless. A haze lifts and what once was there becomes pointless, dream like, empty.
I am the terrible case of two extremes. I am the fussiest woman in the world when it comes to men and always know on first glance whether I can or cannot feel for someone. So, most of the time, perfectly wonderful men will pass me by without me giving it the slightest chance. On the other hand, when I see something in someone that I like, well, that's that, head over heels, love lifts us up where we belong, awe-inspiring, cherubs playing harps madness.
The latter tends to be one sided.
I have never cheated. And yet I am so often that horrible "other woman". Isn't that just as bad?
Probably. But in "other woman's" defence. I do not believe we do it without believing that somewhere, somehow, he might leave his so called beloved and praise our beds instead. The minute a man complains about his girlfriend - well! Hello! Full steam ahead. Permission Granted.
3 weeks of hot sex, thrilling conversations and sneaky passionate kisses later....
Reality. Good bye my lover.